... I think my wife might be a bit more aggressive than average when the OEM tire was wasted right at 5k miles? ...
That's not a sign of being 'aggressive' - in fact, if anything, it's more an indication of being
fairly gentle!! It's actually pretty good milage for an OEM tire!
Many still running the OEM tires don't get even that much tire life, wearing a 2" wide strip in the centre down to the tread wear indicators within just a couple of thousand miles... only because the majority of the tread still looks good, many think they're OK to continue riding until they've worn that centre strip out to about 4-5" wide!!

Only by then, the very middle of the tire rarely has anything more than a paper thin layer of rubber over the tread belts and even if they don't realise it, they're riding on 2/5th's of 5/8th's of a bee's whisker, and likely within moments of a
REALLY catastrophic tire failure!
So I wouldn't think that your wife's riding style has been any harder on the oil than that of anyone else's; rather, given her pretty reasonable OEM tire life, it's probably been a bit gentler than many - but our Spyders
are heavy when compared to many motorcycles, and there's no denying that the Spyder's transmission is pretty hard on the oil. It doesn't really seem to matter much what oil it is, they all tend to shear down a fair bit fairly quickly - maybe most of the quality brands aren't quite as quick/shear so low as the XPS Blended stuff, but they
all shear down somewhat!
Getting your own baseline is a great idea, I've found the
trends in the oil analysis of each machine to be quite revealing, even when there's not anything significant shown in any one result. But then, I do a fair few miles on my 998 powered RT, so I only get an analysis done on every third oil change.
