pro10is
New member
Just as a precaution I sent this photo to the FBI Crime Labs. I know some people who work there. Here is what came back.
Warning: The following contains a gruesome case profile. If you're squeamish you may not wish to read any further.
Photographic Analyst Forensics:
The resulting photographic analysis shows what appears to be a body lying in a semi-supine position in the right background,
possibly a recent victim of the alleged hooded perpetrator. Further analysis shows the alleged perpetrator appears to be under
surveillance by a shadowy figure to the left, possibly a local mobster, a foreign spy, a private detective, or a BRP rep.
Psychoanalytic Profile:
A psychoanalytic profile of the hunched, hooded figure in the center foreground reveals an angry, frustrated caucasian, mid 50's,
who, on a daily basis, appears to have to deal with immature, highly opinionated, ill informed, clueless, troll like individuals in some
bizarre profession which has driven him to the very brink of madness. His clenched fists reveal he is at the breaking point. His clothing
reveals a complete disregard for his appearance, a common psychopathic trait. The handlebar mustache and the dark glasses are indicative
of a highly dangerous individual, possibly a former metric motorcycle rider.
Potential Motive:
It appears that after dispatching the victim lying in the back ground, the hooded figure seems intent on stealing the victim's beautiful
white motorcycle and trailer. Apparently he has discovered some secret on how to defeat the vehicle's high security ignition system
which must somehow appear to him in plain sight. He appears to be waiting for the shadowy figure on the left to leave the area before
he makes his move.
Identification:
Although the mysterious figure has clearly employed tactics to avoid identification, facial recognition algorithms were run on the FBI's
latest Quantum computers and have returned the following potential ID's:
- Jimmy Hoffa - Teamster mobster, convicted of jury tampering, attempted bribery, and fraud
- D. B. Cooper - hijacker and extortionist
- Vladimir Alexandrov - Russian Scientist, missing since 1985
- Lamont aka "The Monster" Bryden - member of the infamous "Spyder Five" and the militant group "HRCA"
Warning:
This fugitive is considered armed (with a screwdriver) and dangerous. Do Not Approach. Please call the MMVA (Metric Motorcycle Veterans Administration)
for assistance.
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