Missing - Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

[Bob Denman]

Oh... I certainly hope so!
That would mean that they've led a FAR more interesting life than I have! :clap:

 

[mowin]

View attachment 141927

I definitely know some of mine were..

Had a client who owns two strip joints in Canada.
He would often pay me with a stack of one dollar bills.

 

[ThreeWheels]

I could only hope so...............................

 

[Bob Denman]

:shocked:

 

[Bob Denman]

This may be the best Legal Notice that I've ever seen... :clap:

 

[Bob Denman]

:dontknow: You were warned... :dontknow:

 

[mowin]

:dontknow: You were warned... :dontknow:

View attachment 141947

That pretty much sums it up...

But, I can see the heap of bodies from those that just don't have a brain cell to spare.

 

[Bob Denman]

That pretty much sums it up...

But, I can see the heap of bodies from those that just don't have a brain cell to spare.

That's why I'm such a "Darwinist": Stupid people shouldn't live to breed... nojoke

 

[Bob Denman]

...And in that same train of thought:

 

[Bob Denman]

And one last shot, at the morons who are still breathing:

 

[mowin]

...And in that same train of thought:

View attachment 141948

Lmao. Now that's funny.:roflblack:

 

[vided]

When you're over seventy.......who cares?
....I thought my life was over but then I discovered how great it is to be over 70....
**********
I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kind’a cute.
You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you’re over seventy...............who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you’re over seventy...............who cares?
***********
I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I'd be over there talking to your friends instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re over seventy...............who cares?
**********
I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you’re over seventy...............who cares?
***********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re over seventy...............who cares?
***********
I went to the bar last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you’re over seventy...............who cares??

 

[Bob Denman]

:clap:

Keep those jokes coming, for as long as you've got a good supply of blood donors! :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

 

[retread]

English is a weird language!

GHOUGHPHTHIEGHTTEEAU!
The above is a "phonic" spelling of a common food item:
Where GH as in hiccough,
OUGH as in dough,
PHTH as in phthisis,
EIGH as in neighbor,
TTE as in gazette,
EAU as in plateau.

What is the item?

john






potato!

 

[PrairieSpyder]

GHOUGHPHTHIEGHTTEEAU!
The above is a "phonic" spelling of a common food item:
Where GH as in hiccough,
OUGH as in dough,
PHTH as in phthisis,
EIGH as in neighbor,
TTE as in gazette,
EAU as in plateau.

What is the item?

john


potato!

Or "fotato" if you pronounce "hiccough" instead of "hiccup"!!! :lecturef_smilie:

 

[Bob Denman]

:agree: :2thumbs:

 

[IdahoMtnSpyder]

Andy Capp Knows!

Andy Capp understand priorities quite well! :roflblack: :roflblack: :roflblack: :roflblack: :roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

Andy Capp understand priorities quite well! :roflblack: :roflblack: :roflblack: :roflblack: :roflblack:

View attachment 142093

:shocked: :wrong:

 

[vided]

[h=2]

[/h]

Could of been worse, they could have taken the RTL :yikes::yikes:​