Bob Denman
New member
...And those big Kodiak bear up in Alaska... :yikes:
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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing - Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
mowin
New member
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked: My condolences... :banghead:
SpyderConvert
Member
Christmas Lights
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked: Will these decorations be ojkay? :dontknow:
Bob Denman
New member
Personally: I like this one! :clap: :firstplace:
Bob Denman
New member
How are they planning to enforce that restriction?
And who'd want the job anyway?!? :sour: Enforcing it, or even just checking to see if anyone had the scour! :shocked:
SpyderConvert
Member
Getting Old (some oldies, I'm sure)
Lovemaking Tips for Seniors
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
5a. Put extra tape on your toupee, so it
doesn’t fall off and scare the hell outta your partner.
6. Use extra Polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Paracetamol (Tylenol) ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want...the neighbors are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
'OLD' IS WHEN
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
'OLD' IS WHEN
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'OLD' IS WHEN
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
'OLD' IS WHEN
Your spouse offers you super sex, and you reply, "I'll have the soup."
'OLD' IS WHEN
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
Lovemaking Tips for Seniors
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
5a. Put extra tape on your toupee, so it
doesn’t fall off and scare the hell outta your partner.
6. Use extra Polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Paracetamol (Tylenol) ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want...the neighbors are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
'OLD' IS WHEN
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
'OLD' IS WHEN
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'OLD' IS WHEN
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
'OLD' IS WHEN
Your spouse offers you super sex, and you reply, "I'll have the soup."
'OLD' IS WHEN
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked: Yup... That's definitely gonna leave a mark! :yikes:
Bob Denman
New member
For All Of Us Who Loved Star Trek...
Oh myyyy... :roflblack:
He actually got me laughing at the mention of Gilbert Gottfried reading the same story!
Oh myyyy... :roflblack:
He actually got me laughing at the mention of Gilbert Gottfried reading the same story!
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SpyderConvert
Member
The Airplane Passenger
Seen this before, but rather humorous
A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman
boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.
"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States ..."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded," I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.."
"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "One popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian
who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"
"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."
Seen this before, but rather humorous
A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman
boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.
"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States ..."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded," I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.."
"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "One popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian
who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"
"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."
SpyderConvert
Member
Smiles
A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit . It was raining
and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. "Mom,"
said the boy, "what are all those women doing?" "They're
waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied. The taxi
driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the
truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for
money." The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that
true Mom?" His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers
"Yes." After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have
babies, what happens to them?" She said, "Most of them
become taxi drivers."
An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she
wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of
gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this
religiously and lived to the age of 103. She left behind 14
children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five
great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium
used to be.
A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit . It was raining
and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. "Mom,"
said the boy, "what are all those women doing?" "They're
waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied. The taxi
driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the
truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for
money." The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that
true Mom?" His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers
"Yes." After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have
babies, what happens to them?" She said, "Most of them
become taxi drivers."
An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she
wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of
gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this
religiously and lived to the age of 103. She left behind 14
children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five
great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium
used to be.
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