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Missing - Jokes! So I'll just start a thread.

Craig & Susan were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. Susan suddenly noticed that Craig was missing and since they had a lot to do, she called him on his cell phone.

Kind of annoyed with him, Susan said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."

Craig said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down Susan's cheek and she got all choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

Craig said, "Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."
 
Bob Denman said:
Craig & Susan were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. Susan suddenly noticed that Craig was missing and since they had a lot to do, she called him on his cell phone.

Kind of annoyed with him, Susan said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."

Craig said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down Susan's cheek and she got all choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

Craig said, "Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."
Click to expand...

He'd better come out of that store armed! :lecturef_smilie:
 
Hi Bob,

Re: I think that he'd better come out of that store carrying:
A Diamond Necklace
A Box of Chocolates
About three Dozen Roses...

Hmmmmm, now what former basketball player comes to mind?

:yikes:

Jerry Baumchen
 
Hasn't our Government been trying to kill Fidel Castro for 57 years?

Dead Fidel.jpg



...And Trump hasn't even been sworn in yet!
Under budget, and ahead of schedule again! :clap:
 
GOOD INVESTMENT ADVICE.......

On their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new husband and asked
For $20.00 for their first lovemaking
Encounter.
Her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made
Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
She needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was
Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.

During the next few minutes, he explained that
His employer was going through a process of corporate
Downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
Another position that paid anywhere near what
He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling
Nearly $1 million.
Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the
Bank which were worth over $2 million,
And informed him that they
Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for more than
Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,
These holdings had multiplied and these were the
Results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments
Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
To keep their mouths shut!!

Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to, and touched often
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!
 
Bfromla said:
GOOD INVESTMENT ADVICE.......

On their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new husband and asked
For $20.00 for their first lovemaking
Encounter.
Her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made
Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
She needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was
Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.

During the next few minutes, he explained that
His employer was going through a process of corporate
Downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
Another position that paid anywhere near what
He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling
Nearly $1 million.
Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the
Bank which were worth over $2 million,
And informed him that they
Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for more than
Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,
These holdings had multiplied and these were the
Results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments
Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
To keep their mouths shut!!

Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to, and touched often
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!
Click to expand...

For 1 Million $ that's 24 times a week for 40 years
 
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