famous and funny quotes through time

[cuznjohn]

some of us have hijacked a important tread on heat, me included, and i feel it was done to lighten up the reply's on it. so i figured why not start a tread of quotes, some funny some serious, i will start it off...

my wife said, take me someplace that i have never been,,, so i took her to the kitchen

Rodney Dangerfield

 

[Bob Denman]

"My wife is an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud."
Henny Youngman

 

[Copperman]

"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."

[h=3]Albert Einstein[/h]

 

[cuznjohn]

man who passes wind in church, must sit in his own pew

unknown

 

[Cruzr Joe]

Last time i asked my wife what she was making for dinner she said "Reservations"

Cruzr Joe

 

[Bob Denman]

Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

EDIT: Here's where it came from. :clap:

http://store.livingwaters.com/index...flypage.tpl&product_id=120&Itemid=199&lang=en

 

[Cruzr Joe]

if i was being chased by a Bear, A Gorilla, An Ex wife and a lawyer and my gun only had three shots .................................... I would shoot the lawyer three times.

Cruzr Joe

 

[Bob Denman]

Joe,
That's not funny; that's TRUE!

anonymous...

 

[ARtraveler]

I will save my space for the "experts." Your doing very good so far. :yes:

 

[spyder3]

"If you like your health care you can keep it. Period."

by check the unemployment list next wednesday..:roflblack:

 

[Pennyrick]

My wife treats me like a God.

She gives me burnt offerings.

 

[Bob Denman]

Here's some from my favorite comic... :roflblack:

http://www.stevenharper.com/jokes/general-humor.html

 

[cuznjohn]

our football team was so tough, after they sacked the quarterback they went after his family

Rodney Dangerfield

 

[cuznjohn]

 

[mowin]

"I invented the Internet"

Al Gore.

 

[PrairieSpyder]

"I can resist anything, but temptation." -- Oscar Wilde

 

[PrairieSpyder]

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not so sure about the universe." -- Albert Einstein

 

[jaherbst]

Man who looses key to girlfriends apartment gets no new key.

Three Irishmen Three Irishmen ---oh never mind

 

[cuznjohn]

if god wanted man to fly,,, he would of given him tickets

cuznjohn

 

[ThreeWheels]

A plaque I saw on a sailboat:

I am the Captain of this Ship.
My word is LAW

And I have my wife's permission to say so.