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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing - Jokes! So I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
mowin
New member
:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: for the last few posts. :cheers:
JerryB
New member
Hi Bob,
I am very sure that most people on here would consider me a liberal; I do not as, I subscribe to no label.
I have never known any liberal to block a road, turn over a car, burn down a building, or riot.
How many have you known that have done that?
Jerry Baumchen
PS) I am a social liberal & a fiscal conservative. Most people cannot understand that.
I am very sure that most people on here would consider me a liberal; I do not as, I subscribe to no label.
I have never known any liberal to block a road, turn over a car, burn down a building, or riot.
How many have you known that have done that?
Jerry Baumchen
PS) I am a social liberal & a fiscal conservative. Most people cannot understand that.
JerryB
New member
Hi folks,
A friend of mine is just back from Thailand after a golf trip.
He said that he almost had sex with one of those Lady Boys that he happened to meet in a bar.
He said she looked like a woman, talked like a woman, smelled like a woman and acted like a woman.
But when she drove them back to her place and reversed the car perfectly into a tiny parking space,
he got out of there right now!!!!!!!!
:yikes:
Jerry Baumchen
A friend of mine is just back from Thailand after a golf trip.
He said that he almost had sex with one of those Lady Boys that he happened to meet in a bar.
He said she looked like a woman, talked like a woman, smelled like a woman and acted like a woman.
But when she drove them back to her place and reversed the car perfectly into a tiny parking space,
he got out of there right now!!!!!!!!
:yikes:
Jerry Baumchen
Pirate looks at --
New member
Bob Denman
New member
Jerry,
I might be wrong about this, but I don't think that I ever mentioned anything about what the Liberals did... :thumbup:
vided
New member
JerryB
New member
Hi Bob,
Re: but I don't think that I ever mentioned anything about what the Liberals did...
OK, let's get literal.
1. I never said that you did.
2. I made a statement that began: I have never known any . . .
3. I ONLY asked a question: How many have you . . .
So, want to answer my question?
Jerry Baumchen
PS) I am well aware that you did not make any actually statement with the poster that you posted. However, as to what you inferred; well, that is quite different.
Re: but I don't think that I ever mentioned anything about what the Liberals did...
OK, let's get literal.
1. I never said that you did.
2. I made a statement that began: I have never known any . . .
3. I ONLY asked a question: How many have you . . .
So, want to answer my question?
Jerry Baumchen
PS) I am well aware that you did not make any actually statement with the poster that you posted. However, as to what you inferred; well, that is quite different.
Bob Denman
New member
Thanks for noting that... I wouldn't want this to cross over to the "Dark Side", of a Political post or thread. 
If you can honestly say that "I have never known any liberal to block a road, turn over a car, burn down a building, or riot.", then I certainly won't say anything to dispute that. :thumbup:
Although the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago might make for an interesting discussion: IF it wouldn't end-up getting everybody's tails tied up in knots! :roflblack:
EDIT: To be fair, you could have called them "anarchists"...
...And that was a pretty long time ago! nojoke
If you can honestly say that "I have never known any liberal to block a road, turn over a car, burn down a building, or riot.", then I certainly won't say anything to dispute that. :thumbup:
Although the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago might make for an interesting discussion: IF it wouldn't end-up getting everybody's tails tied up in knots! :roflblack:
EDIT: To be fair, you could have called them "anarchists"...
...And that was a pretty long time ago! nojoke
Last edited:
JerryB
New member
Hi folks ( to get back on topic ),
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!”
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning her husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. “What the Hell is this?” he said to himself as a little “dust” cloud appeared when he shook them out.
“April,” he hollered into the bathroom, “why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?”
She replied with a snicker, “It’s not talcum powder, It’s ‘Miracle Grow!'”
:clap:
Jerry Baumchen
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!”
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning her husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. “What the Hell is this?” he said to himself as a little “dust” cloud appeared when he shook them out.
“April,” he hollered into the bathroom, “why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?”
She replied with a snicker, “It’s not talcum powder, It’s ‘Miracle Grow!'”
:clap:
Jerry Baumchen
Bob Denman
New member
:clap: And you did an excellent job of it! :2thumbs:
Bob Denman
New member
The flight attendant on our trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. As I stepped
forward, she jokingly offered me one, but I passed. Pointing to the Airborne wings on my Army uniform, I
explained, “The last time someone
gave me wings, I had to jump
out of the airplane.”
Col. David Jessop (Ret.), Rineyville, Kentucky
Col. David Jessop (Ret.), Rineyville, Kentucky
Bob Denman
New member
Subject: Fwd: Oregon Dept of Fish & Wildlife
Very funny story as well as a perfect reply to an over reaching
bureaucracy that seldom sees itself on the other end of it's
ridiculous regulations.....
Letter from Oregon Dept. of Fish & Wildlife:
Dear Landowner:
ODFW Staff will be conducting surveys for foothill yellow-legged frogs
& other amphibians over the next few months. As part of this
research we would like to survey the creek on your property. I am writing
this letter to request your permission to access your property.
Recent research indicates that foothill yellow-legged frogs have declined
significantly in recent years and are no longer found at half their historic
sites. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated and will help
contribute to the conservation of this important species.
Please fill out the attached postage-paid postcard and let us know if you
are willing to let us cross your property or not.
If you have any concerns about this project please give us a call. We
would love to talk with you about our research.
Sincerely
Steve Niemela
Conservation Strategy Implementation Biologist
RESPONSE FROM LANDOWNERS:
Dear Mr. Niemela:
Thank you for your inquiry regarding accessing our property to survey for
the yellow-legged frog. We may be able to help you out with this
matter.
We have divided our 2.26 acres into 75 equal survey units with a draw
tag for each unit. Application fees are only $8.00 per unit after you
purchase the “Frog Survey License” ($120.00 resident / $180.00
Non-Resident). You will also need to obtain a “Frog Habitat” parking
permit ($10.00 per vehicle).
You will also need an “Invasive Species” stamp ($15.00 for the first
vehicle and $5.00 for each add’l vehicle) You will also want to register at
the Check Station to have your vehicle inspected for non-native plant life
prior to entering our property. There is also a Day Use fee, $5.00 per vehicle.
If you are successful in the Draw you will be notified two weeks in
advance so you can make necessary plans and purchase your “Creek
Habitat” stamp. ($18.00 Resident / $140.00 Non-Resident).
Survey units open between 8am and 3pm but you cannot commence survey
until 9am and must cease all survey activity by 1pm.
Survey Gear can only include a net with a 2″ diameter made of 100%
organic cotton netting with no longer than an 18″ handle, non-weighted
and no deeper than 6′ from net frame to bottom of net. Handles can
only be made of BPA-free plastics or wooden handles.
After 1pm you can use a net with a 3″ diameter if you purchase the
“Frog Net Endorsement” ($75.00 Resident / $250 Non-Resident). Any
frogs captured that are released will need to be released with an
approved release device back into the environment unharmed.
As of June 1, we are offering draw tags for our “Premium Survey” units
and application is again only $8.00 per application. However, all fees
can be waives if you can verify “Native Indian Tribal rights and
status".
You will also need to provide evidence of successful completion of “Frog
Surveys and You” comprehensive course on frog identification, safe
handling practices, and self-defense strategies for frog attacks.
This course is offered online through an accredited program for a
nominal fee of $750.00.
Please let us know if we can be of assistance to you. Otherwise, we
decline your access to our property but appreciate your inquiry.
Sincerely,
Larry & Amanda Anderson.
Very funny story as well as a perfect reply to an over reaching
bureaucracy that seldom sees itself on the other end of it's
ridiculous regulations.....
Letter from Oregon Dept. of Fish & Wildlife:
Dear Landowner:
ODFW Staff will be conducting surveys for foothill yellow-legged frogs
& other amphibians over the next few months. As part of this
research we would like to survey the creek on your property. I am writing
this letter to request your permission to access your property.
Recent research indicates that foothill yellow-legged frogs have declined
significantly in recent years and are no longer found at half their historic
sites. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated and will help
contribute to the conservation of this important species.
Please fill out the attached postage-paid postcard and let us know if you
are willing to let us cross your property or not.
If you have any concerns about this project please give us a call. We
would love to talk with you about our research.
Sincerely
Steve Niemela
Conservation Strategy Implementation Biologist
RESPONSE FROM LANDOWNERS:
Dear Mr. Niemela:
Thank you for your inquiry regarding accessing our property to survey for
the yellow-legged frog. We may be able to help you out with this
matter.
We have divided our 2.26 acres into 75 equal survey units with a draw
tag for each unit. Application fees are only $8.00 per unit after you
purchase the “Frog Survey License” ($120.00 resident / $180.00
Non-Resident). You will also need to obtain a “Frog Habitat” parking
permit ($10.00 per vehicle).
You will also need an “Invasive Species” stamp ($15.00 for the first
vehicle and $5.00 for each add’l vehicle) You will also want to register at
the Check Station to have your vehicle inspected for non-native plant life
prior to entering our property. There is also a Day Use fee, $5.00 per vehicle.
If you are successful in the Draw you will be notified two weeks in
advance so you can make necessary plans and purchase your “Creek
Habitat” stamp. ($18.00 Resident / $140.00 Non-Resident).
Survey units open between 8am and 3pm but you cannot commence survey
until 9am and must cease all survey activity by 1pm.
Survey Gear can only include a net with a 2″ diameter made of 100%
organic cotton netting with no longer than an 18″ handle, non-weighted
and no deeper than 6′ from net frame to bottom of net. Handles can
only be made of BPA-free plastics or wooden handles.
After 1pm you can use a net with a 3″ diameter if you purchase the
“Frog Net Endorsement” ($75.00 Resident / $250 Non-Resident). Any
frogs captured that are released will need to be released with an
approved release device back into the environment unharmed.
As of June 1, we are offering draw tags for our “Premium Survey” units
and application is again only $8.00 per application. However, all fees
can be waives if you can verify “Native Indian Tribal rights and
status".
You will also need to provide evidence of successful completion of “Frog
Surveys and You” comprehensive course on frog identification, safe
handling practices, and self-defense strategies for frog attacks.
This course is offered online through an accredited program for a
nominal fee of $750.00.
Please let us know if we can be of assistance to you. Otherwise, we
decline your access to our property but appreciate your inquiry.
Sincerely,
Larry & Amanda Anderson.
Bob Denman
New member
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
vided
New member
The bride
A virgin bride on her 4th wedding
[FONT=verdana, helvetica, sans-serif]A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.
"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?" The bride-to-be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil." "Please don't take this the wrong way, madam, but such dresses are usually more fitting for the first time bride who is more innocent in the ways of life, if you get my meaning."
"WELL!," replied the bride-to-be, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our honeymoon hotel.
"My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.
[FONT=verdana, helvetica, sans-serif]”[FONT=verdana, helvetica, sans-serif]"What about your third husband?” the store clerk asked.
"That one was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
A virgin bride on her 4th wedding
[FONT=verdana, helvetica, sans-serif]A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.
"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?" The bride-to-be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil." "Please don't take this the wrong way, madam, but such dresses are usually more fitting for the first time bride who is more innocent in the ways of life, if you get my meaning."
"WELL!," replied the bride-to-be, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our honeymoon hotel.
"My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.
[FONT=verdana, helvetica, sans-serif]”[FONT=verdana, helvetica, sans-serif]"What about your third husband?” the store clerk asked.
"That one was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
Attachments
PrairieSpyder
New member
Bride's 4th wedding . . . :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:
I'm sharing that on FB. Thanks.
I'm sharing that on FB. Thanks.
Bob Denman
New member
:clap: That is a very pretty Wedding Gown... :2thumbs:
and an even BETTER story! :firstplace:
and an even BETTER story! :firstplace:
cuznjohn
New member
a pretty wealthy woman get on a bus and sits next to a old ITALIAN WOMAN, the woman's perfume was pretty strong, and the Italian woman said, what's a that smell. the wealthy woman says, CHANEL # 5, 133.00 DOLLARS FOR 3 OZ. THE OLD ITALIAN LADY SAYS MINK YA,
after a few minutes, the old lady lifts a cheek and lets a silent fart go. the wealthy woman sniffs and say's, WHAT IS THAT SMELL,,, the old lady says,,,,, ESCAROLE AND BEANS,, 79 CENTS A POUND
[h=1][/h]
after a few minutes, the old lady lifts a cheek and lets a silent fart go. the wealthy woman sniffs and say's, WHAT IS THAT SMELL,,, the old lady says,,,,, ESCAROLE AND BEANS,, 79 CENTS A POUND
[h=1][/h]
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