Bob Denman
New member
In that case; I'm glad that we're a SMALL corporation! :shocked:
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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing - Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
PrairieSpyder
New member
I'm feeling some deja vu! Have we already done that joke?:hun:
Here's another...
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108.
We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108.
We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.
Bob Denman
New member
:roflblack: :clap:
The old folks have it all figured out... :lecturef_smilie: Don't mess with them!
The old folks have it all figured out... :lecturef_smilie: Don't mess with them!
cuznjohn
New member
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
mowin
New member
Sure blame Mr Ding-a-ling....:roflblack:
cuznjohn
New member
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
Bob Denman
New member
vided
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vided
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mowin
New member
Never would have thunk you would have a video waiting.....:roflblack:..
Bob Denman
New member
Waiting?? :shocked: Do you think that this is an easy job? :roflblack: :joke:
Bob Denman
New member
Chelsea Manning found guilty of having contraband in her cell... :shocked:
Including The Caitlyn Jenner cover of Vanity Fair...
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...contraband-vanity-fairs-caitlin-jenner-cover/
:yikes: Thank goodness that she never got any of the out-takes from that photo shoot... :barf:
Including The Caitlyn Jenner cover of Vanity Fair...
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...contraband-vanity-fairs-caitlin-jenner-cover/
:yikes: Thank goodness that she never got any of the out-takes from that photo shoot... :barf:
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Bob Denman
New member
:clap: Even though there's far too much truth in there!
PrairieSpyder
New member
:roflblack: Good one, John!
That would be one to keep on hand to read at baby showers . . if I still went to baby showers!
That would be one to keep on hand to read at baby showers . . if I still went to baby showers!
Bob Denman
New member
spacetiger
New member
A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy.
Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana,
unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief,
which he also unfolds - to reveal a condom.
The condom has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.
"Six pence" says the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence" says the chemist.
The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran,
and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,
followed by an even greater shout.
The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor,
this time with a grin on his face.
"The regiment has taken a vote," he says.
“We'll have a new one."
So now you know why they shoot the cannon at 1 PM vs. 12 noon for the time check...
Jerry
Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana,
unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief,
which he also unfolds - to reveal a condom.
The condom has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.
"Six pence" says the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence" says the chemist.
The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran,
and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,
followed by an even greater shout.
The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor,
this time with a grin on his face.
"The regiment has taken a vote," he says.
“We'll have a new one."
So now you know why they shoot the cannon at 1 PM vs. 12 noon for the time check...
Jerry
Bob Denman
New member
Jack goes to his friend Mike and says, "I'm sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after the services for me?"
Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees.
After the services, Mike starts talking to the minister, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally, the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to.
Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the minister. "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now; so, he asked me to keep you occupied."
The minister smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder, and says, "You better hurry home. My wife died a year ago."
Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees.
After the services, Mike starts talking to the minister, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally, the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to.
Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the minister. "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now; so, he asked me to keep you occupied."
The minister smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder, and says, "You better hurry home. My wife died a year ago."
cuznjohn
New member
good news,,, bad news
a man goes to his doctor to get results from a battery of tests he had due to never feeling good.
the doctor comes in and says, I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR YOU
the man says, DOCTOR GIVE ME THE BAD NEWS FIRST.
the doctor says, YOU HAVE A INOPERABLE BRAIN TUMOR, AND YOU ONLY HAVE 6 WEEKS TO LIVE.
the man says WOW DOCTOR, ARE YOU SURE
and the doctor says, YES I AM
at that point the man says,,, WHAT COULD BE GOOD NEWS AFTER THAT
and the doctor says,,,, I'M SCREWING MY RECEPTIONIST !
a man goes to his doctor to get results from a battery of tests he had due to never feeling good.
the doctor comes in and says, I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR YOU
the man says, DOCTOR GIVE ME THE BAD NEWS FIRST.
the doctor says, YOU HAVE A INOPERABLE BRAIN TUMOR, AND YOU ONLY HAVE 6 WEEKS TO LIVE.
the man says WOW DOCTOR, ARE YOU SURE
and the doctor says, YES I AM
at that point the man says,,, WHAT COULD BE GOOD NEWS AFTER THAT
and the doctor says,,,, I'M SCREWING MY RECEPTIONIST !
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