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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing - Jokes! So I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
dannymax
New member
hyea:
coz
Active member
that is funny as hell:roflblack: suitable for framing:roflblack: but one would never hear the end of it, would one:roflblack:
Bob Denman
New member
That reminds me of a story...
At a 30th anniversary party that was being held in a big hotel in NYC, the best man notices that the groom is missing...
He starts looking...
Finds him a little bar across the street with his long face hanging deeply into a mug of "sorrowchaser"
"What's wrong Buddy", he asks. "Why aren't you over there enjoying the party that's being held for you?"
"I got to thinking", says Mr Sadface...
"On my wedding day all those years ago; do you remember when I got so mad that I threatened to kill my bride over all of the crap that we were being put through? You convinced not to kill her because I'd have been convicted of murder and gotten 30 years in jail."
"TODAY; I coulda been a free man!" :gaah:
Sad but true
Should I Really Join Facebook?
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with
1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos,
pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress
for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2
great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could
handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grand kids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl,
Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific,
Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and
every other program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except
the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like
this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every
now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box
under my tool bench with the Blue Tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I
wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife
and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my
hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that
gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.
Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."
You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate
me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the
next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good
relationship..
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross
streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS
lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless
phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured
out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging
under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when
the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I
go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something
themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out
just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid
looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I
just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their
turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I
answered, No, but I do fart a lot."
P.S. We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the
garage door remote are about all we can handle.
Should I Really Join Facebook?
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with
1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos,
pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress
for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2
great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could
handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grand kids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl,
Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific,
Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and
every other program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except
the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like
this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every
now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box
under my tool bench with the Blue Tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I
wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife
and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my
hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that
gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.
Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."
You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate
me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the
next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good
relationship..
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross
streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS
lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless
phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured
out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging
under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when
the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I
go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something
themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out
just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid
looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I
just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their
turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I
answered, No, but I do fart a lot."
P.S. We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the
garage door remote are about all we can handle.
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
bruisersbaby
GOS member (Girls On Spyders)
ONE FOR US 'SEASONED' WOMEN RYDERS!!
:cus::roflblack::cus::roflblack:
:cus::roflblack::cus::roflblack:
Bob Denman
New member
I think that I just spit an entire grilled cheese sandwich out my nose! :shocked:
Thanks! :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack::firstplace:
Thanks! :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack::firstplace:
smoky
New member
Gratitude
Every day as she exited the city bus, a little old lady presented the driver with a box of shelled peanuts. After several days of this, the driver's curiousity was aroused to the extent he thanked her and at the same time asked why she was so persistent in giving him a box of peanuts?
She responded with "Son, my teeth wont permit me to eat peanuts, but I do so love that chocolate coating!"
Every day as she exited the city bus, a little old lady presented the driver with a box of shelled peanuts. After several days of this, the driver's curiousity was aroused to the extent he thanked her and at the same time asked why she was so persistent in giving him a box of peanuts?
She responded with "Son, my teeth wont permit me to eat peanuts, but I do so love that chocolate coating!"
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked: :barf:
Tough Marine
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I was restless at first because you have to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay... practically nothing. Men got to shave but it's not so bad... there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you 'til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Your loving daughter,
Alic[/FONT]e
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=+2][SIZE=+1][/SIZE][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Dear Ma and Pa:[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I was restless at first because you have to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay... practically nothing. Men got to shave but it's not so bad... there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you 'til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Your loving daughter,
Alic[/FONT]e
NautiBrit
New member
Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat,
Watching the front door of the brothel over the road.
The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.
"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman.
"Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?"
No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door,
Knocks, and goes inside.
"Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"
They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar and the rabbi
When they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door.
"Ah, now dat's sad." says the third Irishman.
"One of the girls must have died.”
Bob Denman
New member
I'm still waiting to see a picture of Alice... :roflblack:
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