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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing - Jokes! So I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
:roflblack:
I heard that he stopped counting to infinity (for the sixth time! :bowdown
; to discuss that sign with those three jokers... :2thumbs:
:lecturef_smilie: But you still have to remember...
I heard that he stopped counting to infinity (for the sixth time! :bowdown
; to discuss that sign with those three jokers... :2thumbs::lecturef_smilie: But you still have to remember...
SpyderConvert
Member
The New Gorilla
One day an out of work mime was visiting the zoo trying to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he started to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office.
The zookeeper explained to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, had suddenly died. The keeper feared that attendance at the zoo would fall off. He offered the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they could get another one. The mime accepted.
The next morning, before the crowd arrived, the mime put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage. He discovered that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, play and make fun of people, and he drew bigger crowds than he ever had as a mime.
However, eventually the crowds tired of him and he became bored just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.
Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd loved it.
At the end of the day the zookeeper came and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. Well, this went on for some time. The mime kept taunting the lion, the crowds grew larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day when he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell. The mime was terrified. The lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The mime was so scared that he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime started screaming and yelling, "Help! Help meee!!!", but the lion was quick and pounced. The mime soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion. The lion slowly lowered his snarling mouth towards him and said: "Shut UP you idiot! Do you want to get us BOTH fired?"
DJ Mills
One day an out of work mime was visiting the zoo trying to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he started to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office.
The zookeeper explained to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, had suddenly died. The keeper feared that attendance at the zoo would fall off. He offered the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they could get another one. The mime accepted.
The next morning, before the crowd arrived, the mime put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage. He discovered that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, play and make fun of people, and he drew bigger crowds than he ever had as a mime.
However, eventually the crowds tired of him and he became bored just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.
Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd loved it.
At the end of the day the zookeeper came and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. Well, this went on for some time. The mime kept taunting the lion, the crowds grew larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day when he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell. The mime was terrified. The lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The mime was so scared that he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime started screaming and yelling, "Help! Help meee!!!", but the lion was quick and pounced. The mime soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion. The lion slowly lowered his snarling mouth towards him and said: "Shut UP you idiot! Do you want to get us BOTH fired?"
DJ Mills
Bob Denman
New member
:roflblack:
I heard that he stopped counting to infinity (for the sixth time! :bowdown
:lecturef_smilie: But you still have to remember...
View attachment 164195
But there's only room for one at the top... :bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown:
Trickie Dick
New member
Why Seniors don't change their Passwords
Subject: Fwd: Why Seniors never change their passwords
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: Cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: Boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces
USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYo urAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCab bagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontG iveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use
Subject: Fwd: Why Seniors never change their passwords
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: Cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: Boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces
USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYo urAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCab bagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontG iveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use
Bob Denman
New member
Pirate looks at --
New member
You know these are just not funny! What happened to the jokes???????:banghead::banghead:
SpyderConvert
Member
More Puns (Some Oldies)
1. The meaning of opaque is unclear.
2. I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.
3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.
4. A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
6. If there was someone selling marijuana in our neighborhood, weed know about it.
7. It’s a lengthy article about ancient Japanese sword fighters but I can Sumurais it for you.
8. It’s not that the man couldn’t juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
9. So what if I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘apocalypse’? It’s not the end of the world.
10. Police were called to the day-care center. A 3-year old was resisting a rest.
11. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
12. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
13. Alternative facts are aversion of the truth.
14. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
16. Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?
17. I used to be allergic to soap but I’m clean now.
18. The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
19. What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is killing me.
20. Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!
21. My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.
22. What is a thesaurus’s favorite dessert? Synonym buns.
23. A relief map shows where the restrooms are.
24. There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
25. How do they figure out the price of hammers? Per pound.
1. The meaning of opaque is unclear.
2. I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.
3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.
4. A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
6. If there was someone selling marijuana in our neighborhood, weed know about it.
7. It’s a lengthy article about ancient Japanese sword fighters but I can Sumurais it for you.
8. It’s not that the man couldn’t juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
9. So what if I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘apocalypse’? It’s not the end of the world.
10. Police were called to the day-care center. A 3-year old was resisting a rest.
11. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
12. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
13. Alternative facts are aversion of the truth.
14. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
16. Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?
17. I used to be allergic to soap but I’m clean now.
18. The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
19. What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is killing me.
20. Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!
21. My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.
22. What is a thesaurus’s favorite dessert? Synonym buns.
23. A relief map shows where the restrooms are.
24. There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
25. How do they figure out the price of hammers? Per pound.
SpyderConvert
Member
The Firing Squad
Three women are about to be executed for crimes.
One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around.
She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde has figured out what the others did.
The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
Three women are about to be executed for crimes.
One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around.
She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde has figured out what the others did.
The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
Bob Denman
New member
:banghead:
She should have yelled "Sale at Macy's!"
Nobody would have known what she was talking about... :shocked::hun:
She should have yelled "Sale at Macy's!"
Nobody would have known what she was talking about... :shocked::hun:
Pirate looks at --
New member
Now those are funny!
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