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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing - Jokes! So I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
agedbikeman
New member
Machinegunner
New member
Bob, That certainly puts a new spin on the current conversations, but it is appropriate.
JerryB
New member
Hi folks,
Two women were talking in Heaven.
'Hi Wanda!'
'Hi Sylvia, how did you die?'
'I froze to death,' says Wanda.
'That is terrible way to go,' says Sylvia.
'It wasn't so bad actually, Wanda. After I quit shaking I started to feel warm and sleepy and died peacefully. What about you Sylvia? '
'I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected my husband was cheating on me so I came home early to catch him, but he was all by himself in the den watching TV.'
'So what happened?'
'I still had a feeling that he was with a woman, so I frantically searched the house up and down from the basement to the attic. I checked everywhere, under the beds, the closest and every room, but I found no one. I was rushing around so much I got exhausted and died of a heart attack.'
'Too bad you did not check the freezer, then both of us would still be alive!!! '
:yikes:
Jerry Baumchen
Two women were talking in Heaven.
'Hi Wanda!'
'Hi Sylvia, how did you die?'
'I froze to death,' says Wanda.
'That is terrible way to go,' says Sylvia.
'It wasn't so bad actually, Wanda. After I quit shaking I started to feel warm and sleepy and died peacefully. What about you Sylvia? '
'I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected my husband was cheating on me so I came home early to catch him, but he was all by himself in the den watching TV.'
'So what happened?'
'I still had a feeling that he was with a woman, so I frantically searched the house up and down from the basement to the attic. I checked everywhere, under the beds, the closest and every room, but I found no one. I was rushing around so much I got exhausted and died of a heart attack.'
'Too bad you did not check the freezer, then both of us would still be alive!!! '
:yikes:
Jerry Baumchen
JerryB
New member
Hi folks,
A man goes to see a doctor as he is very worried about his wife's temper.
The doctor asks, “What’s the problem?”
The man says, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason. It scares me.”
The doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later, the man comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The man says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”
The doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”
:yikes:
Jerry Baumchen
A man goes to see a doctor as he is very worried about his wife's temper.
The doctor asks, “What’s the problem?”
The man says, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason. It scares me.”
The doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later, the man comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The man says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”
The doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”
:yikes:
Jerry Baumchen
JerryB
New member
Hi folks,
A mother is cleaning up her 12 year old son's bedroom, when she finds lots of bondage gear and fetish magazines
She is absolutely shocked. She runs to her husband and explains what she has found and wonders how to deal with it.
The dad says, 'I am not sure, but whatever you do Do Not F***ing Spank him!
ray:
Jerry Baumchen
A mother is cleaning up her 12 year old son's bedroom, when she finds lots of bondage gear and fetish magazines
She is absolutely shocked. She runs to her husband and explains what she has found and wonders how to deal with it.
The dad says, 'I am not sure, but whatever you do Do Not F***ing Spank him!
ray:Jerry Baumchen
Bfromla
Well-known member
Bob Denman
New member
:clap: Something about Lawyers getting kicked, just makes me feel warm and fuzzy! 
Jerry: Tell your Son that I'm sorry; it can't be helped!
Jerry: Tell your Son that I'm sorry; it can't be helped!
PrairieSpyder
New member
What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One's a scum-sucking bottom-feeding scavenger.
The other one's a fish.
One's a scum-sucking bottom-feeding scavenger.
The other one's a fish.
Bob Denman
New member
Stuff That I Think About...
· The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from
your house you can be in a robe...before you start looking like a
mental patient.
· My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread
social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
· I always wondered what the job application is like at
Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
· The speed with which a woman says "nothing" when asked
"What's wrong?"...is inversely proportional to the severity of the
crap storm that's coming.
· Denny's has a slogan, “If it's your birthday, the meal is on
us.” If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life pretty
much sucks!
· The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. Pretty
sure she's going to get me something.
· On average, an American man will have sex two to three times
a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a
year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was
Japanese.
· I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penney has an
older women's clothing line named, " Sag Harbor ".
· I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language
entirely out of tattoos.
· What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see
them pick their noses?
· Money can’t buy happiness but it keeps the kids in touch!
· The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because
nobody was married...Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober,
Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara ... And, of
course, Opie--all single. The only married person was Otis, and he
stayed drunk.
· The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from
your house you can be in a robe...before you start looking like a
mental patient.
· My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread
social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
· I always wondered what the job application is like at
Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
· The speed with which a woman says "nothing" when asked
"What's wrong?"...is inversely proportional to the severity of the
crap storm that's coming.
· Denny's has a slogan, “If it's your birthday, the meal is on
us.” If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life pretty
much sucks!
· The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. Pretty
sure she's going to get me something.
· On average, an American man will have sex two to three times
a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a
year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was
Japanese.
· I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penney has an
older women's clothing line named, " Sag Harbor ".
· I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language
entirely out of tattoos.
· What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see
them pick their noses?
· Money can’t buy happiness but it keeps the kids in touch!
· The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because
nobody was married...Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober,
Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara ... And, of
course, Opie--all single. The only married person was Otis, and he
stayed drunk.
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
[TABLE="width: 100%"] [TR] [TD="width: 100%"] [TABLE="width: 366, align: left"] [TR] [TD="width: 763"] In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Glad I don't live in Indonesia!) (Much worse than 'going blind!') *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside anddeflower young virgins, who pay themfor the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: Under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute: Is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Condoms may be dispensed from a vending machine only in places where alcoholic beveragesare sold for consumption on the premises.' (Is this a great country or what?) Well,.... not as great as Guam! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for these tests?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The Ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of ???) (Did our Government pay for this research??) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez..) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* An Ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that, too.) *~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* And, the best for last? Turtles can breathe through their ass. (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!) Thank you all for reading this. If you need to reach me in the future, I will be working my ass off in Guam !!!!!! |
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Bob Denman
New member
So; when are YOU moving to Guam?
mowin
New member
So; when are YOU moving to Guam?
Just mentioned to my wife that we should move to Guam for a new business opportunity. When I told her what my new job would be, she said we'll be bankrupt in a week. :gaah:
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